You're doing your apple a day wrong

 It's prime apple season wether you're picking apples with your family or being dragged by your girlfriend at the most inconvenient time aka  Football sunday or college saturday. Apples are all over the place right behind pumpkin by its self, Carmel apples, pie, cobblers. Just Ask Kawhi its apple time. 


But Kawhi knows whats up that Red Apples are the best. Guess I've really been going at it with the science nerds from their animal study burger study and now this one about apples. But whose studying apples? Those science nerds from U Mass, already like where its going a bunch of New Englanders. Those guys know Red Sox, freedom, Irish things and apples. Massachusetts is where johnny apple seed is from and we all know that guy liked to spread his seed. So have those massholes gotta be Johnny descendants so apple juice is running through those veins. But what those guys up there have discovered is that we are doing or apple a day wrong. Apparently a little rinse rinse under the kitchen faucet or a shine off the flannel jacket is not good enough before eating it. 

This is where the U mass guys come in they say using baking soda with some water is the best thing to get pesticides off of apples. After a 12 minute soak you can get about 80% of pesticides off 15 min 96%. But a 12-15 minute apple wash is outrageous to me especially when apple picking. How am I supposed to eat like 9 apples while walking through the orchard. If I have to wash them for 15 mins. Or if you really want to be effective in getting rid of pesticides peel your apples. Nope big mistake right there all the nutrients are in that skin. This study is all fine and dandy but why don't they do a study of how to grow apples with pesticides so we don't need to kill chemicals for 15 mins. Let me guess they're gonna do a study on scrubbing potatoes next? Washing hands after pooping? This is just a waste of time no ones gonna wash their apple for 15 this is America we are fat and lazy so this is way to big of an inconvenience. People only eat fruit cuz its right there and simple.  The only apples we like are iphones. So once again science is for nerds studying things we don't need wasting time and they are always complaining we have no more money for studies, well dont study dumb things. Score 2 me 0 them. No one going to wash their apples for 15 mins, or at least I'm not nobody got time for that. Plus is the apple going to taste like baking soda, damn it am I going to wash an apple for 15 mins to see whats the deal with the taste now? 








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